On the Outs

Dear God,

You know I love you, right?

But, I am confused. And I think perhaps you are, too. Let me quantify.

Near the end of 2010, I prayed and prayed and prayed like a good little Catholic girl. I prayed and asked, in no specific terms, that 2011 not suck quite so bad. While I realize this is a fairly open-ended request, a toddler knows the difference between "good" and "WAY BETTER." Give them an apple and a candy bar, they know that the candy bar is WAY BETTER.

So far, we are 53 days in to 2011 and this is not going well. I'd love an explanation. 

My Piece-of-Sh*t Van decided to take a crap on me, and start having engine issues. Again. Okay, fine, that dumb thing gets the boot and I find another van. Great deal, 2008 Honda Odyssey, beautiful. Drives like buttah. You know, if I drove buttah. But dammit, I didn't want a) a higher car payment or b) to be paying on it longer.

Then, really? You had to go and afflict my best friend with cancer? You didn't think that borrowing my Dad was good enough, you have to work on my bestie, too? Who's next? Is everyone I care about going to be picked off one by one? The advance warning would be nice.

Look, I am not asking for a handout. All I am asking is to be left alone to muddle through what is my life. So far 2011 is not not-sucking worse. I realize and understand when people say "keep the faith" and "He wouldn't steer you wrong," but I am *really* finding it hard to "hang in there, kiddo."

Thanks a lot, I suppose...

Ell

Comments

[Amber]

Just remember... if we try to be left alone to muddle through life... we're not gonna get very far. We have to put total faith in God, completely rely on Him, and do our best to abide in Him, and He will bring us through life. It seems hard, but think about a baby lying in its mother's arms... that is how we should feel in our Father's embrace.